The Fear That’s Costing You Thousands

The Deal That Made Me Feel Pig Sick

I once walked out of a meeting having got everything I asked for. And I still felt pig sick.

On paper, it was a win. I had secured what I had requested. The numbers worked. The handshake was firm. The deal was done.

But I knew.

They had not beaten me. I had beaten myself before I even walked into the room.

I remember sitting in the car park beforehand thinking, do not push too hard. Do not rock the boat. Get something and get out. The real issue was not the negotiation. It was that I needed the deal. And that need showed.

Fear does not always stop you walking into the room. Sometimes it just quietly decides what you are worth before you get there.

When you are afraid of losing the deal, you lower your standards. You soften your ask. You accept terms you would never normally accept. You tell yourself you are being pragmatic. What you are really being is cautious.

There is a difference between commercial realism and fear-driven compromise.

The other side can sense it. Desperation, urgency and over-eagerness leak out in small ways. In your tone. In your body language. In how quickly you concede. When you need the outcome too much, you lose leverage before you begin.

The mistake I made was not poor preparation. It was poor self-alignment. I had not decided what I truly wanted. I had decided what I would settle for.

Before your next negotiation, do not just prepare what you will say. Decide what you truly want. Decide what is acceptable. Decide what is not. Then raise it slightly. Set your standard without fear sitting in the chair next to you.

If the deal works at your higher standard, good. If it does not, you have protected your position.

Take fear out of your standards.

Because no one follows a loser. And the first person who must believe in your value is you.