Monkey See, Monkey Do

If your child hears you laugh about “they forgot to charge me” or “I got away with that one with the tax man,” they don’t just hear a joke. They file it away. It becomes part of who they are.

Last time I talked about trust, and about how nothing else matters if the person you’re speaking to doesn’t trust you. Today I want to go one level deeper, because trust isn’t just something you show your clients. It’s something you teach, whether you mean to or not.

Think about the throwaway comments around your own kitchen table. “They’re all so stupid, they never noticed.” “Told him it was solid oak, he’ll never know the difference.” Small, said without thinking. But a child hears it, and it becomes a founding part of who they grow up to be.

It’s exactly the same at work. “They’ll never know.” “Just tell them it’s in the post.” “That’s good enough.” Every one of those gets locked into the memory of whoever’s in the room, and it comes back out again in how they treat your customers.

There’s an old saying I’ve always liked. Monkey see, monkey do. Whoever’s around you, if you’re in a position of authority, whether that’s as a parent at home or a director at work, whatever you do or say that isn’t quite right gets copied. Not eventually. Immediately.

Gregg Hurwitz wrote a line in his Orphan X thrillers that’s never left me. How you do anything is how you do everything. Every small compromise you let yourself make is a lesson you’re teaching someone, whether that’s your child, or the newest member of your team.

Every Sunday I take ten minutes to review my week, and I ask myself one question. What have the people around me learned from watching me this week? Is it good, or is it something I need to work harder at next week?

If there’s anything I can ever do to help you or your business, you know where I am.